I Bless You and Curse You...all in the Gaelic

Well, if I did that...you wouldn't know what I was saying now, would you?

So, I'll print it in the English.

Good Morning!
Dia duit ar maidin

~ May those who love us love us. And those that don’t love us, May God turn their hearts. And if He doesn’t turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles, So we’ll know them by their limping. ~ (Don't have the gaelic)

~ May the cat eat you, and may the cat be eaten by the devil. ~
Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat

~ My seven blessings on you. ~
Mo sheacht mbeannacht ort!

~ May the devil take you with him. ~
Go mbeire an diabhal leis thú!

~ Luck of the Irish ~
An t-áadh na nGael

~ St. Patrick's Blessing Upon You! ~
Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig oraibh!

~ A Hundred thousand welcomes to you! ~
Céad míle fáilte romhat!

~ Thank you. ~
Go raibh maith agat

~ May you leave without returning. ~
Imeacht gan teacht ort

I see a fair amount of "Irish Blessings" which don't quite sound authentic. If it starts out with "May...." then people think it's Irish. But...

This one long blessing I've had by my door for 26 years and me mum had it by our door for, sure and I don't know how many years before that.

May the road rise to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face.

And rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Now...here's a joke for you:

Sean goes into the pub and asks for three Guinness. He sits there and sips from the first one, then the second, and the third. He does this until finally all three pints are finished. He pays the bill and leaves. A couple of nights later he comes back and repeats the ritual. This goes on for a while and finally the bartender's curiosity gets the better of him and he asks why the three Guinness and why drink them all together the way he does. "Well, " says Sean, "My brother Michael is in the USA and my other brother Liam is in Australia. We can't meet in the pub and share a Guinness, so we have an agreement that whenever we go have a drink, we order three pints and pretend we're together." The bartender thinks to himself, "What a wonderful idea." A few months go by and one night Sean comes in and he orders two Guinness. The bartender is afraid to ask, but Sean seems fine, so finally the bartender says, "I see you've only ordered two Guinness tonight. Did something happen to one of your brothers?"No, no," says Sean, "They're both fit as a fiddle and healthy as horses!" "So why only the two Guinness?" asks the bartender. "Ah, well now," says Sean, "I've given up Guinness for Lent."

And another:

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to hold the bulb, one to screw it in, and one to say how grand the old one was.

And finally,

For 50 years, Paddy left the box alone, until his wife Moira was old and dying. One day, when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and 82,500 pounds in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got angry with you." Paddy was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been vexed with him twice."What's the money for?" he asked."Oh, well that's what I've made selling the Doilies."

Slán

♥Pam